Sharing Not Comparing

February 14th came and went and my Facebook feed was filled with beautiful Valentines of all kinds.  One extremely talented friend had handcrafted little boards for her sweet babies with adjectives describing them.   Another busy momma had personally cut scalloped hearts out of organic brown card stock and colored them each unique and ornate.  Of course, there was most likely an organic granola bar attached to it as well.  I did not post pictures of the Valentine’s my kids brought to their classes this year.  If I had, you would have seen a box of the cheapest, most processed sugar packet and an edible stick to dunk with.  It was that kind of year for us this year, and guess what?  I’m okay with that.

There are times in your life when you have the time and energy to go above and beyond with holidays.  There are birthdays when the cake looks like the actual Pinterest original idea and others where there is a rectangular cake with a number candle on top.  There were Halloweens when my kids could have been the cover for a magazine with their matching Star Wars outfits or homemade costumes and others where they pretty much looked like beggars (which is pretty much what they are anyway).  I’m okay with that.

Most of us moms are doing the best we can to provide our children with the best upbringing they can have.  It’s hard work.  Some seasons of life are more challenging than others.  Right now I’m in the re-doing sixth grade season of life because my sixth grader needs his momma to walk this road along side of him.  I’m not always in the mood to talk about ancient Chinese dynasties at 9:00 at night, but that’s what he needs and I’m okay with that.

It’s easy to see what others are doing, in their season of life, and feel inferior, jealous, deflated.  I am here to pump you back up again.  Whether your Valentines were hand crafted from organic supplies that you grew in your back yard or purchased at Walmart the night before, you had Valentines for your child.  Good for you!  Let’s be honest.  Does the child care?  Nope, not one bit.  We do all the fancy stuff for ourselves really.  We find a cute idea that we want to do, and we are excited to show our friends because they are the ones who are going to find it adorable.  The child is not concerned with the look.  They are only interested in the treat.

So when your friend posts pictures of her hard work, praise her.  She deserves it.  She spent all that time working on Valentine’s that her child will most likely not even thank her for.  Give her the hard earned praise she deserves.  Don’t resent her.  You spent your time doing something else that was most likely equally as important (like studying the Shang Dynasty).

We live in an electronically charged era.  It has so many benefits to our mothering.  When my son wanted a ninja party I did not need to come up with the ideas on my own, I simply scrolled through other mothers’ ideas and chose the ones I liked best.  Why re-invent the wheel.  It’s all pretty much been invented for us.  The down side is that with this sharing, comes comparing.    We will never measure up to the Pinterest model in all areas of our life.  We are all crafted differently with unique gifts and interests.  Our mothering will not look the same, even if we try.  We have to learn to be okay with that.

What we need to give our children is the best version of us.  If you are not crafty, buy it at Walmart (or some much more sophisticated store).  If you are not studious, leave it to the teacher.  If you are not adventurous or creative, sign your child up for camp.  Just be the best you.  What are you good at?  Do that.  And when you see the pictures of posts from your fellow mom friends, know that they are doing the same thing, being the best versions of themselves.  Why?  Because our kids need to know that we love them; that they are worth the sacrifice of our time and energy.

So with Easter breathing down our necks, here’s my advice.    Take a deep breath and focus on the aspects of the holiday that matter most to you.  When the pictures start popping up on your media outlets of perfect Easter egg hunts with Pottery barn baskets with each child’s name stenciled on the side and each member of the family in matching outfits and beautiful smiles, give that momma the praise she deserves for trying to make the holiday special for her family.

And if your Easter photo turns out like mine most likely will:  children smeared in chocolate with dyed fingers, dirt all over their clothes (and egg because we have an egg war after the hunt is over) and the youngest BOY with a pink bucket because his mom thought there was just no way she would have 5 boys and surely at some point there would be another girl, celebrate that as well. Be okay with that.   I for one will like your post.

***This was pretty much the only decent picture from our last Easter. . . no dirt, looking at the camera, even smiling, and you can’t see his pink bucket. Feel free to comment on how adorable he is 🙂