One thing that has worked well for me to keep communication lines open with my younger kids is give them all a journal for them to keep by their beds. Through this approach, they can write about the things that they are having a hard time saying. Sometimes when they are angry that is a good place for them to blow off steam before we chat about it. Hypothetically speaking, a child might draw a picture of me with a beard or write about how I sent the wrong kid to time out because it was really everyone else’s fault that they did whatever it was that they did.
They also write about things that they are looking forward to or thinking about. Sometimes they remind me to do something I keep forgetting to do. I try to ask them questions so they will have something to respond to. I also use these journals to remind my kids how much I love them, especially if we had a hard day. I leave them verses or tell them things that they are doing that I am proud of them for. We don’t write everyday, but it’s a method for us to use when we need it.
I also keep a journal for each child in my room (Ken printed me one with each child’s picture on it). In these journals I write the funny things they say and do, milestones they make, struggles they have, obstacles they overcome and my love and admiration for them. It doesn’t take long to write a few lines before bed, not that I do it every night, but frequently enough to record the things that I want to remember about each child. I find that if I don’t write the things down as they are happening, I forget. I love to read back over these journals and remember the little things, like the way they pronounced words when they were little or things we did together that I forgot about.
These little books contain my prized possessions: my memories of my babies. I don’t share these with the kids on a regular bases, but I think they will enjoy reading them someday to learn about themselves and how much I adore them.