Holy Song Wars

We have 6 children so driving anywhere is interesting:

“Mom, So-in-so is touching me.” 

“Okay, well move over.”

“Mom, So-in-so is annoying.” 

“Honey, we are all annoying in some way, deal with it.”

“Mom, So-in-so is LOOKING at me.” 

“Okay, well look away.”

My children think that driving our giant conversion van (that we refer to as Relaxi-taxi) isn’t much of a job.   I’m apparently bored and would love to referee the back seats.

One topic that has come up more than once is singing.  Some in my van find it incredibly annoying when others sing.  Others rather enjoy singing.  My five year old loves to make up what he refers to as “Holy Songs”.  They are the most precious things you have ever heard.

These are the lyrics to one, though without his sweet voice and repetition, it doesn’t do it justice.

“I love God more than Chuck-E-Cheese.  I love God more than dogs and bees.
I love God more than oceans and trees.   I love God more than anything.
God is the powerest.  God is the best.  God is the fastest.  God is the strongest.
I love God more than anything.  I love God more than anything.
God is the mightiest.  He loves everyone.  He never sins.
I love God more than anything.
Can you see God? No, but He can see you.
I love God more than anything. I love God more than anything.
God made the flowers.  God made the world.  God made the oceans.
I love God more than anything.
God made the lions.  God made the spiders (I think they were part of the curse personally).  God made Adam and Eve.  I love God more than anything.
I love you God. You can never die.
You come in my dreams and fight the bad guy.
You are my best guy.
I love you and you love me.”

Isn’t that the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard?

So when the others started finding his holy songs annoying I made a decree.  Holy songs are always permitted in the van.  God loves a holy song and we will not deprive God of what He loves.

Naturally, my children would find a loop hole in my decree.  My seven year old “sang” (shouted is really more an accurate description) for 20 minutes straight these words:

“God’s not dead, He’s surely alive.  He’s living on the inside, roaring like a lion.”

It started off adorable but after 10 minutes I was trying to talk myself out of running the van off the road for the sake of my own sanity.  When I suggested that maybe we take a break from that song he replied with, “But Mom this is my holy song.  God loves it when we sing holy songs.”

I said, “Oh, I’m sure God finds it awesome.  It’s me who finds it annoying. “  He was horrified.  How could I find his holy song annoying?

Even the youngest found a way to use the holy songs against me.  He was singing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” loudly, while the others were watching movie.  I told him it wasn’t the time to sing and he came back with, “But Mom, this is my holy song.”

I said, “That’s not a holy song.  Holy songs are about God.”

He thought for a moment and started singing, “My friends, Tigger and God. They’re always here for each other.”

One thing I never thought I’d be refereeing:  Holy Song Wars.  Gotta love ‘em!