Good Intentions
My husband says that I am great at coming up with systems, but not great at implementing them. I hate to admit it, but he’s right. Being naturally creative, I love to come up with a plan to solve any problem. Storage systems, disciplinary systems, organizational systems, I love them all! However, I often lack the discipline to carry through on implementing them, rendering them useless. My intentions are good, but my focus or effort is lacking.
I found this great map idea last summer in which you pray through all these different countries every day. As a great way to teach global awareness, I was very excited to get started. It was very organized. All I had to do was set up the map, (check), print out the list of countries and how to pray for them, (check) and remember to do it every day (oops). Ask me at the end of the summer if we ever finished the countries. Nope!
I’m a list girl! I love to check things off my list (see my above “check”). This year I really wanted to check two things off my list: get my website up and running (something I’ve intended to do for over a year) and finish my “baby’s” baby book. Neither of those things will get accomplished simply by my intending to do so. I had to purpose to do it. Make room in my schedule for it. Set goals to accomplish it by a certain date. Have accountability (my friends asking me how it’s coming along). If not, I won’t get it done. It will just be on my list of things that I hope to accomplish someday.
Last year I talked about taking my 5 year old skiing. I talked about it all winter but didn’t purpose to make it happen until it was too late. Since it had been warm in March, they closed the season early. My intention never happened. This year, I am intending to take my daughter away for her upcoming 13th birthday. I assure you that if I don’t start purposing to make this happen, it won’t. I need to budget for it, decide where to go, book it, find a baby-sitter, otherwise this will be another intention of mine that didn’t happen.
Some of my intentions may be unreasonable. For example, I would like to train my boys to get all of their pee in the toilet (I know, a lofty dream). I have been parenting boys for 10 years now, and I have not accomplished this goal. I have threatened to make them sit. I have become a toilet Nazi, patrolling the toilet looking for puddles of pee and then running to find the poor aimer. I tell them that their friend’s moms won’t invite them over if they can’t learn proper pee etiquette. But I have not reached my goal of a clean seat at all times. My four year old has taken this to a whole new level. He waits to go to the bathroom, until the pee is actually coming out of him. Then he is trying to get his pants off, lift the seat (see they do know it’s the right thing to do) and aim. Often times he comes out of the bathroom and says, “Mom, you’d be so proud of me. I didn’t pee on the wall this time.” I am so proud and re-thinking my intention. Perhaps instead my intention should be to tile the bathroom floor to ceiling and install a drain at the floor. Problem solved!
My biggest fear is that someday, I will look back and realize I had great intentions and didn’t follow through with them. It’s so easy to get sidetracked by the daily responsibilities that eat my time and consume my minds. Most of my intentions revolve around my children and even though they are not keeping track of whether I am doing them, they will notice one day if I did not. I just want to love my kids in such a way that they feel valued and secure enough to fulfill whatever purpose God has for them in their lives. I know this is a slightly higher dream than proper bathroom etiquette but who knows? Maybe someday they will get that too.
